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. 1st Witch: What's your new boyfriend like ? 2nd Witch: He's mean, nasty, ugly, smelly and totally evil - but he has some bad points too !

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. Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.

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. First witch: My, hasn't your little girl grown ? Second witch: Yes, she's certainly gruesome.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(witch): 98

. How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance ? 'Voodoo like to dance with me ?'

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. Did you hear about the witch who turned her friend into an egg? She kept trying to poach her ideas.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(you): 104

. What does an Australian witch ride on? A broomerang!

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. What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director? Steven Spellberg!

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. Witch l: "How do you manage to stay in shape?" Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."

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. Is it good to drink witch's brew? Yes, it's very newt tricious!

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. What is a witch's favourite TV show? Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!

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. Where did the witch get her furniture ? From the ideal gnome exhibition !

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. How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ? By her suntan !

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. What's the witches favourite pop group ? Broomski Beat !

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. What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ? A witch with a blindfold !

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. What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ? Don't bite any witches !

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. What does a witch do if her broom is stolen ? She calls the flying squad !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(does): 79

. What is the witches motto ? We came, we saw, we conjured !

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. How do you know when you are in bed with a witch ? She has a big "W" embroidered on her pyjamas !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(do): 102

. Why do witches have stiff joints ? They get broomatism !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(do): 59

. Who went into a witche's den and came out alive ? The witch !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(went): 66

. What did the young witch say to her mother ? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(did): 90

. What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(did): 99

. Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(you): 121

. Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust? The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched, nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(you): 182

. Did you hear about the TV show with FBI agents and witches? It's called The Hex-Files.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(you): 91

. Q: What kind of witch goes to the beach? A: Sandwitch

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. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months! - I don't like to interrupt her.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(haven't): 81

. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%. - It's called wedding cake.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(have): 121

. My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" - I said, "Dust!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(wife): 60

. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. - Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(the): 164

. Why do men die before their wives? - They want to.

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. A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading "Wife Wanted." - The next day he received a hundred letters saying "You can have mine."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(man): 175

. A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." They start going up and on the first floor the sign reads, "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads, "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads, "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there nare still two floors left, they continue on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect. "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they would be missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. On the fifth floor they find a sign that reads, "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(group): 1448

. A man was walking along a beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. "Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete! How much steel! You're going to have to think of another wish." The man agreed, and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My w ives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment. I want to figure out why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing', and know how to make them truly happy." The genie paused for a while and said, "How many lanes do you want on that bridge?"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(man): 1401

. On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming,she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. This tall, tanned and built guy with jet black eyes starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one move s. As this man approaches, the woman begins to get excited. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."

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. Why haven't Women landed on the Moon? - Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!

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. Should I have a baby after 35? No, 35 children is enough.

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. What Do you tell a woman with two black eyes ? Nothing, you told her twice.

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. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

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. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(do): 139

. Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth? Fred: I don't know, Sir. Teacher: Come on, Fred, it has something to do with an apple. Fred: Granny Smith?

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. Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed? To feed her nightmare.

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. Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!

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. Why are women such bad drivers? Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.

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. Brother: What kind of sharks never eat women ? Sister: Man-eating sharks.

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. Doctor Sawbones speaking. Oh, doctor, my girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in, say, three or four weeks' time?

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. What do you calll a woman that people sit on ? Cher !

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. Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

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. Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(are): 90

. A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure." The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków( fresh): 422